The occasional solo trip… or rather a trip with another lunatic friend.
Alex’s view
This will be a departure from the norm of what you have read thusfar. Maria did not come with me to Marrakesh. I went instead with another, and I must say, equally deranged friend called Kal. Kal does not get lost, however her danger lies elsewhere, she is uniquely the most mischievous imp of my acquaintance. This trait that was fully on show during our trip.
Marrakesh is an absolutely stunning city, which is likely why thousands of tourists flock there every year. Touring the city required many more “steps” than it would a normal person, predominantly as we had to skirt the edges of all the main squares and select routes in the shade. Kal refused to go in the sun, which , considering her Indian descent, was rather confusing. Her genetic pool has undergone a significant mutation as a result of being British. This manifests itself in a complete meltdown at any temperature above 29 degrees Celsius. So three people in single file skirting round the main sites was a sight to behold.
Anyway, I digress. The Souk is, essentially a festival for the senses. The music pouring from the shops, the chatter of the meandering people, the colour of the merchandise which competes for your attention, the delightful smells of spices, amber, and food, and cats lounging like kings in every corner. The Souk is obviously a story of two halves… the tourist half and the non tourist half, which is much more exciting. This is where you find the earthy leather and meat markets. We took a guide specifically so we could be shown more reality and, if I am honest, I was dreading seeing live animals, but actually, these chickens were healthy, strong, clean and perfectly content, unlike our European shed bread chickens which, even free range, have a space of less than an A3 piece of paper to meander in. Sad.
There is also beautiful architecture in the old city and just outside of the main walls you can find Majorelle which is a must see and where you will be dazzled with a signature blu. There are many authentic and modern shops in both the Souk and beyond where truly special objects can be found. Here, I experienced Kal’s unparalleled bartering skills. The battle which unfolded varied on a theme of the shopkeeper telling her she was ruining him and Kal’s assertions that her children needed feeding. This was amply demonstrated by exhibiting her empty wallet which contained only a few battered notes. This is the same wallet which had been full prior to entering the shop, following a trip to the cash machine. Consequent bartering made her dig out cash from orifices best left to the imagination, followed by a half an hour stalemate comprising a pretty spectacular stare out, which Clint Eastwood would have been proud to feature in one of his Westerns. Kal, cash in hand on one side and the shopkeeper on the other, armed with the object she was aiming to purchase. I watched from the near by chair with a tea in hand. Kal won.
A trip to the Atlas mountains is also eminently worthwhile. The air becomes cooler, the scenery more rugged and spectacular. There are fantastic waterfalls and glimpses of villages left nearly unchanged by the passing of time.
For dinner Kal and I ventured to a recommended restaurant where, not only did we dined spectacularly, but had the added advantage or restricting Kal’s daily speculations on the marital status of all the guests in the Hotel and, therefore, happily prevented me from having to be randomly introduced to them by her. This is one of Kal’s favourite pastimes. It not uncommon for Kal, once under the influence, to approach a random stranger and ask him if he happens to be James Bond, or a random policeman and ask him if he likes his job and can give her career advice. Obviously, this is often followed by a very weary face from the recipient, who, as expected, looks at her as if she were soon due to be committed to a lunatic asylum. When the victim is just about to step away from her, the following happens: She brightens up and says: “Did you know my friend is single?” swiftly followed by…. me diving under the nearest table or exiting via the nearest door. With this danger temporarily parked, we ventured to the restaurant. Traditional Moroccan food was on offer, but not the touristy variety. The patrons were predominantly trendy Moroccans and between rushing waiters, in the dimly lit atmosphere a belly dancer, dressed in a fairly blinding gold outfit, snaked her way between the tables. Elegant and eye catching, especially as she had a tray with an 8 candle candelabra balanced on her head. Why? Who knows. It is not a question I wish to contemplate. The potential fire hazard alone gave me nightmares for weeks. Dinner was delicious However and I strongly recommend the restaurant, but perhaps bring a fire blanket with you.
Marrakesh is the perfect long weekend away. An immersion in North African culture where you feel enveloped in history. I highly recommend it.
The Lockdown Travel Guide 